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This is our joke page.
Really we do online presentations;
but for now, we're relaxed.
Updated only when we are sent something decent.
Hi, I recently submitted a sort-of-joke
called "How to Multiply Your Orgasm" to linesonline.com
which was posted on http://www.linesonline.com/humor.html
Since then I discovered that the recommended
exercise, when practised to excess, can cause a couple
of serious health complications in men. One is that the
enlarged muscle can squeeze-off the urethra and make it
difficult to pee. The other is that the enlarged muscle
can look to a doctor like prostate cancer and prompt an
unneeded biopsy.
The last thing I want to do is hurt
people, and I'm sure you agree with me about that.
So I must now ask you to please remove
the text from your page. Sorry about that. -Brad.
Hi Brad, we are sorry
your joke caused you harm. - Ed
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE
STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months,
saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received
a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter
who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue
a gunman who had reportedly barricaded himself inside
his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers
discovered that the man was standing beside them in the
police line, shouting, "Please come out and give
yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnaped a
motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated
teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw
money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked
for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the
take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and
worked the counter himself for three hours until police
showed up and grabbed him.
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Please note due to the infestation of spam we have
removed all harvestable email adresses. Please email us
directly with the beginning karen and the end linesonline.com
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect
who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When
detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the
words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot",
the man shouted, "that's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife
is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes
apart". "Is this her first child?"
the doctor asked.
"No!"! The man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying
to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon.
King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun . Unfortunately,
he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!
8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high
desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new
to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard
they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot
boat going.
It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter
how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying
to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking
someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong.
A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect
working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive
went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size
and pitch .
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check
underneath.
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
(NOW
REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.)
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was
the trailer!
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